Let me start out by saying if you have yet to ride the emotional roller coaster that is Cindi Lauper’s True Colors music video, treat yo self.
Moving on. This week in her Super Soul podcast, Oprah shared one of her favorite past conversations she had with Dr. Maya Angelou, in which she learned that you should believe people when they tell you who they are. Not the twenty-ninth time. The first time.
How many times have you been in a conversation with a friend or significant other and heard them say something like “I’m just so… (insert adjective here)” Lazy. Impatient. Irresponsible. Selfish. And then you spend all this time and energy trying to convince them (and yourself) otherwise.
This is something I struggle with - my inclination is to preserve the image I have of that person in my head - “You? Lazy? No! Working out is soooo 2018… “
But, that’s not doing anyone any favors. While the tone and language this person uses to describe their story is often harsh, there’s something authentic there that is trying to reveal itself. When someone tries to show you their true colors, believe them.
Moreover, if we don’t believe each other, how on earth are we going to believe ourselves? When it comes to my relationship with myself, I find it easy to believe the ugly stuff, but challenging to believe the good. This is normal- we are our own worst critics. It might sound something like this:
Real Mairin: Damn, I ate an entire bag of chocolate chips. I have no self control.
Inner critic Mairin: Yeah, you’re right. Work on that, you big dumb idiot!
But then it gets to something we need, or something positive, and it gets a little more dicey…
Real Mairin: I’m exhausted. I need a break.
Inner critic Mairin: Keep going, you big dumb idiot!
*side note: my inner critic is a malicious little gremlin that lives in a cave and survives on all those spiders we swallow in our sleep at night. Rumor has it she’s the one who created the Poop Map.
Under all the embellishments and exaggerations, we’ve got to see the truth and believe it. The friend who says she can’t budget money to save her life? Believe her. Then decide how you want to support her. The significant other who said they have commitment issues? Believe them. Then decide how to move forward. The next time your Barry’s instructor says bump your treadmill up to a 10.0 and your body says abso-f**king-lutely not? Believe it. Let’s face it - you’re there for the Oribe.
What’s the point in showing our true colors if we don’t show up to see them? For ourselves and each other, we deserve to be believed. We deserve to believe.