The Huddle #22: The Judge

I’ve been spending some quality time with my inner judge lately, and, let me tell you, she makes Judge Judy look like the sweet old lady next door. She has an entire office in the attic of my brain with a giant banner that reads: YOU’RE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT. 

Our fear is not just that we’re not good enough. It’s that even the shiny version of ourselves we present to the world - the version that is better than the real us - isn’t good enough. The new buzzword for this is Imposter Syndrome, and it’s taking over like the little virus that could. But, in naming this feeling, we’re also normalizing it. Maybe we shouldn’t just accept constantly feeling like a fraud, maybe we deserve better.

My question is this, can you recognize when it’s time to call an ‘objection’ on yourself? Argumentative! Hearsay! Badgering! Relevance?! 

As my therapist puts it: Have faith in how you show up. You don’t show up to the meeting claiming to know everything about everything. You don’t teach a class claiming your way is the highway. You allow space for input, for new ideas to form, and for the road of learning that lies ahead. How you frame what you know, how you present your ideas, is the key between arrogance and humility. It’s the difference between an imposter - and you. 

Also, that thing you’re working on, teaching or presenting about? Chances are, whatever you need to learn, you’ll learn. You don’t need to know everything right now, you just need to know there’s more to learn. 

The Judge is in the attic for a reason. She wants to keep us from going too far into the land of ignorance, to protect us from the inevitable rejection or humiliation. But, for the sake of your sanity, you might consider kindly asking your judge for a brief recess. You’re doing your damn best, and that’s enough.