If your year has been anything like mine, you started out 2019 with self-care top of mind. You know how it goes - Equinox was full from January till February, you downloaded a meditation app. Hell, I even did Whole 30*. Then the springtime kicked in, and for many of us, self-care became Operation Summer Body. We limited the dinner chards and signed up for Barry’s FACE YOURSELF challenge.** Then summer happened.
Now its dark, cold, and the busiest time of year. And the only thing worse than the knowledge that we might not have met our wellness goals is the shame we put on ourselves for it. If today you have the exact same self-care gusto that you started this year with, this message is not for you. Also, don’t talk to me.
The holidays are bursting with opportunities to feel guilt and self judgment. We’re traveling, falling out of our routines, trying to meet work deadlines between Friendsgivings. There’s just no space to drink less, eat healthily, or work out. Waking up in our childhood bedroom with a wine headache, it’s easy for the family guilt to creep in, too. Perhaps your parents look older than you remembered them being, and you think about how you need to make an effort to see them more. Compounded with the flack you’re already giving yourself for falling off the wellness wagon, all that guilt is going to put some real tension between you and you.
This is not the part where I tell you something motivational like, “Don’t give up!“ or “Finish strong!”. No, no. I’m not going to tell you to force yourself to workout and call your mom more, even though you probably should do those things. This is the part where I remind you that you’re doing a great job. You’re already an amazing daughter/son/friend/employee/fill-in-the-blank. These can be stressful times, and it’s easy to feel like your sanity is being served up on a platter, along with your time and energy. One thing that’s been helpful to me is this handy little mantra: I am enough. If you want to stay up late playing board games with your cousins, good on ya. And if you would rather watch Office re-runs on your phone in bed with a Hot Toddy, well good on you, too.***
You are enough.
Give yourself the pardon. You are one badass bird! You’re doing your goddamn best, and no matter how many times you have to tell Grandma you’re still single, you’ll live to gobble another day.
*I did it for 5 days. But, still.
**I did not do this challenge.
***This is my love language.