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  • Writer's pictureMairin McCracken

The Huddle #5: It’s not delivery...

First things first: to anyone whose family member or friend has fought in the armed forces, sending you some Memorial Day love and gratitude. If anyone out there is looking to support veterans, this is an incredible organization worth looking into.

Memorial Day also means summer is just around the corner (cue the whooping and hollering from teachers throughout the universe)!  It’s so close, I can almost taste it…

Speaking of taste. If you were in my class this past Wednesday, I shared with you that I would be making a pizza dough from scratch using this recipe. I’m very happy to report that it turned out fan-friggin’-tastic. Highly recommend!

As much as I would love to say that I’m some amazing chef and everything was hunky dory, the process of making this dough shook me. There were times when I really didn’t think I was going to make it. The self doubt, the judgement, the “I’m not good enough so why did I even try”s- they were all there.

What kept me going (apart from my stubbornness) was the recipe itself, which accounted for such a process. God bless you, Deb Perelman.

She writes:

“The scariest thing about this dough is that it is very, very soft. You won’t roll it out, you’ll stretch and nudge it with floured fingertips into a pizza-like shape. It will stick to things and annoy you; you will be convinced that this messy blob will never become a pizza. Do not panic. When it comes out of the oven, you’ll know why you put up with it — the exterior crackles, the interior stretches, and the flavor has the depth of an artisanal loaf of bread.”

Do not panic.

It’s a scary thing, this being honest with ourselves. Getting all the ingredients out and deciding to work with them, rather than against them. And it’s not always fun. It’s not always simple or swift or Instagram-worthy. It’s the real stuff.

There’s a quote from my teacher Erin that I ask my classes often:

Do you want the pain of being stuck, or the pain of getting unstuck?

No matter what is waiting for you on the other side, I’m here to remind you that it’s big and it’s worth it. I’m also here to remind you that the process of getting there is sticky, messy as hell, and maybe even painful. All of our old habits, our thoughts, feelings, and judgements- they’re not going to make this easy for us. We have to keep going.

Do not panic. You, my friend, are one of a kind. You are a curated, artisanal pizza with crackly edges and incredible depth. And you are doing really f**king great.

It’s not delivery. It's you.

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