5/3/20
First thing’s first: we are now on Week 52 of the Huddle, which means we’ve been doing this for an entire year! Happy one year anniversary! If you’ve been here a week, a few months, or the entire year- you’ve all helped make my Sunday Scaries a little less scary, and I hope that, at some point, The Huddle has done the same for you.
Speaking of scary. Yesterday, I found myself smashing a computer to bits- the whole time, screaming “I AM IN TUNE WITH MY EMOTIONS!” While I would love to claim this as some sort of Shelter-In-Place Zoom-induced episode, here’s the real context: While cleaning out my childhood home with my brothers and sister-in-law, we had to destroy our old computer in order to send it to the junkyard. My siblings each took a swing at it, and then it was my turn. They were shocked when they saw me unleash hell on that thing, but I was not surprised.
We all have those emotions we’re more comfortable with than others. Sadness? Not my cup of tea. Put us in a room together, and I don’t know what to say. But, anger? Give me a bat and let’s get INTO IT.
If I were to write in Anger’s yearbook, this is what I would say:
Anger,
Here are my top three reasons why I love you:
You are fun. Spending time with you is like riding the mechanical bull at Westwood. I know how it’s probably going to end, but the ride is exhilarating.
You and me, we’re both a little rebellious which, again, makes us a fun lil’ duo.
You teach me infinitely more about myself than Calm ever does. That snore.
HAGS!
-Mairin
Last week, I found myself in a challenging conversation with a colleague. I grew angry over a point that I felt was important to me and began pressing the issue. While I never actually raised my voice, I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me.
After the call, I looked back at the information my anger had brought me. The first thing I learned was that when anger tends to show up, it’s usually called upon by my inner advocate, the part of me that feels compelled to protect someone or something. In this case, I had it in my mind that I was speaking as the general counsel for the universe. I began blurring the lines between “This is what’s right!” and “I am right!” Anger, that sneaky little weasel, had me confusing my moral code with my stubborn need to have things my way. And while this is certainly something I’m working through, I would not have the opportunity to see this part of myself if it were not for my inner rage monster. Thank you, anger, for giving me this insight.
No emotion is good or bad. In fact, they’re neutral. And if we listen, even the ugliest, sneakiest emotions can give us valuable information. So here’s the invitation- can you spend a little time with those emotions that tend to get a bad rap? Think of all the good times to be had- you could journal with your fear, cry with your sadness, and, best of all, smash some sh** with your anger.
So much has happened in a year. The world has been turned upside down. We’ve loved hard, felt it all, and shown up for the hard stuff. A year ago, I sent the first Huddle to thirty pals, and now there are two hundred of us. I love you all and would love to hear how you’re doing. Huddle related or not, what have been the big moments for you these past fifty-two weeks? And lastly, how can I support you? Want to smash some stuff? I know a place…