I was walking with a friend last week and began sharing a story of how I made a recent decision regarding a job opportunity. I stood up tall on my soapbox and proudly professed the clues I'd picked up on in order to discover that, no, I do not want to move to Los Angeles, and, yes, I do want to stay in my line of work as a classroom teacher. I was saying sentences like
" And THEN I found myself musing over the possibility of staying."
AHA! Another clue!
He laughed and interjected: " Isn't it hilarious how we are constantly Sherlock Holmes-ing our own wants and needs? You would think that as adults we'd know by now what we want."
Huh. That was unexpected. And, completely true.
How many times do you second guess yourself in a day? It's exhausting. "Maybe I shouldn't have had that last slice (or five) of pizza. "
"Do I want to go on a date with this guy? Swipe right, or swipe left?!"
"Oh, shit. The yoga instructor told us to set an intention. I don't know.... don't give up? Focus on my breath? Ugh. No, that's not good enough..."
The truth is this: you already know. Remember the ol' flip a coin trick? You can't decide what to do about something, so you flip a coin. The thing is, there's almost always a side you root for, right? "Heads, heads, heads... "
That's the side. That's the answer. You knew it all along.
My therapist likes to play a little game with me. Every time I say, "Uhh... I don't know!" She says, " But what if you did know?" And, while my initial response is always FUCK YOU, the response that follows is almost one hundred percent of the time a valid, knowledgeable answer.
So, consider this your weekly reminder that you are wiser than you give yourself credit for. You might see how it feels to trust yourself a little extra this week. Life is complicated enough as it is. Step out of your own way, because
you already know.