The Huddle #51: Hugs Make Things Hard
Whoever said binge-watching a reality dating show was a waste of time, hasn’t seen Netflix’s "Too Hot to Handle." If you haven’t seen it yet, a cone-shaped Alexa knockoff tells a bunch of horny twenty-somethings that they will win a cash prize of $100k, so long as they keep their hands off each other. The idea: build an emotional connection while abstaining from kissing, touching, or sex. Hmmm… something about this sounds all too familiar….
Needless to say, I’ve become totally enlightened by watching this dumpster treasure. Partway through, as I was listening to one Australian man-pup named Harry say, "Sorry that we’re hot as f**k and we want to tear each other apart like a roast chicken!" The question struck me: Why do so many of us struggle with stamina? (No, not that kind, Harry).
If you’re in California like me, the weather has been sunny and gorgeous, which- I never thought I would say this- is problematic. In San Francisco, it’s been an especially trying couple of days, because let’s face it, we get about fourteen days of summer weather per year, and they could hit at any moment. I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to remember the Common Good when Fort Mason is out there looking like a dime.
By staying in, we’re continuing to do a really hard thing, and even if the Big Why isn’t at the forefront of our minds while we’re doing it, we’re still doing it. Stamina is strengthened by our doing of the thing, not so much our thinking about the thing. This is refreshing to me, as someone who tends to get caught up in the notion that we should be enthusiastic and have the highest intentions one hundred percent of the time. In a yoga class, for example, I often have a recurring thought. If I can’t get into the groove of the practice - that is, if I can’t get out of my mind and into my body- it’s a waste. The truth, however, is that even if we’re only in the groove of it for ten breaths, one breath, even a millisecond, that moment is worth all the time and energy it took to get there. For the entire duration that we show up, even if it’s the plain ol’ physical “My body is on my mat and that’s as far as we’re going to get today,” kind of showing up, we’re doing the work. We’re doing it!
Sometimes, it’s about personal growth, and other times, we just want that cash prize. Sometimes, we settle into a moving meditation, and sometimes, we’re just there for the abs or the inevitable Robyn tribute. We don’t always love the Zoom meetings, or the dish-doing, or being an attentive listener to our loved ones. We’re not always eager to feel our feelings. No matter the motivation, or lack thereof, we continue. It’s intrinsic.
As I’m sure you guessed the moment I began quoting “Too Hot to Handle,” my offering to you this week is not profound. It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but it is, in my opinion, necessary to hear in times like these: Keep going.
Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.
because you can.